I reread the message on my phone at least ten times. Was she serious? She had spent her whole life providing me with “everything I needed,” so why was I struggling now? Honestly, I felt abandoned, betrayed, and hurt.
I started typing a passionate response, but I stopped myself. I decided to speak to her in person. Maybe she didn’t realize just how tough things were for me.
I called her.
“Mum, I don’t think you understand,” I said when she picked up. “I’m drowning here, and you’re living like a queen.”
She sighed on the other end of the line. “I understand, darling. Please understand that this is my time now. I’ve spent decades worrying about you, about work and bills. I gave up my dreams so you could have opportunities I never had.”
I scoffed. “What’s the point of all those opportunities if I’m still struggling?”
She spoke softly after a pause. “Tell me, darling. What do you need?”
I hesitated. “I don’t know. Help with credit card debt, rent, maybe car payments. A little relief.”
My mum sighed again. “I’ll be honest. I love you more than anything, but money won’t fix this. You need to figure out how you got here.”
That stung. “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”
“No, it’s your responsibility.”
It took me a moment to respond. My fingers clenched around the phone as I fought to control my anger.
She continued. “You’re not young anymore. You have a good job, right?”
“Yes, but it barely covers everything.”
“And what about managing your budget? Have you looked at your spending?”
I stayed silent because, truth be told, I hadn’t. I knew I was spending too much, but I didn’t want to admit it. I was living paycheck to paycheck, swiping my card whenever I needed something, hoping everything would somehow work out.
Mum said gently, “Listen, I didn’t raise you to be helpless. I know it’s hard, but you can get through this. I’ll always be here if you need more than just a temporary solution. I want to help you in the long term.”
“Like what?” I asked, skeptical.
“First, I can sit down with you to review your finances. Maybe help you manage your budget and cut down on unnecessary spending. I can also recommend a financial advisor.”
A humorless laugh escaped me. “No easy money?”
“No, darling. Because if I gave you money, you’d be back here in a few months.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to be angry with her. But deep down, I knew she was right. I knew she would step in if things really got tough. Financial independence had never been my strong suit.
Maybe it was time to change that.
Mum added, “Suffering doesn’t make you a failure. Everyone goes through it at some point. You can choose to let this moment define you as a victim, or you can change your situation.”
I sighed. “So, you’re not going to pay off my debt?”
Her laughter was soft. “No, darling. But I will teach you how not to fall back into it.”
I thought about that. Maybe I had misunderstood her all along. My mum wasn’t being selfish. She was teaching me the lesson I needed from the start.
“Okay,” I concluded. “Let’s talk about my budget.”
The following months brought change. Not overnight, but gradually. I created a budget with my mum, tracked my expenses, and cut down on unnecessary purchases. I started a side hustle to earn some extra money.
You know what? It works. I’ve reduced my debt. And more importantly, I finally felt in control.
I also saw my mum in a new light. She trusted me to take care of myself; she wasn’t abandoning me. I felt proud when she sent me pictures from her recent trip to Greece, instead of being resentful.
She deserved happiness. Just like I did.
My biggest lesson? No one should fix your life. In fact, that’s a good thing. Because taking charge of your life and solving your problems on your own is far more rewarding.
Take a deep breath if you feel alone. You’re not alone. You’re capable of more than you think.
Share this story if it moved you. Remember, life isn’t about waiting for a rescue. Learn to rescue yourself.